Yesterday I went out with some friends (good, well-meaning, mature friends, mind you) and was still wearing my du-rag for a bit. I generally don’t wear it out in public but I was in a rush and had to go pretty much right after I had showered and washed my hair. Anyway, I had to respond to a few comments, most of them “jokey” and innocuous because of my apparent looking like a convict, but there was also one that went as far as “So seriously is there a use for that, or is it just for looks?”. I’m not one to complain about it too much (ok I’m lying) but holy fuck it’s times like this where the power of the media and the prevalence of unconscious prejudice are so obviously on display that it’s hard to ignore. Sorry if this is stereotypical for me to say (as blatantly racist a concept that even is…) but people don’t even realize how much of an uphill battle it is sometimes for me because of my race. People cannot even imagine how often I feel different, how often I feel like a target, how often I feel out of the ordinary, and how literally ALL of the time I have to be extra-cautious and extra-aware of the way I look and act because of perceptions and ignorance so deeply, deeply, perhaps irreparably ingrained in people’s heads. I have said this time and time again but no matter my personality, regardless of how I act or what I say or do, I will always be a black person and not a person. I mean I’ve known it for a while but there are certain times like yesterday where I really feel how shitty and overwhelming a reality it is.
Only Mila Kunis could get me to watch something as ridiculous as Friends With Benefits
Hey thanks I really appreciate that even though this is anonymous which I still dont and never will understand but even so, this is a nice thing to say so thanks for saying such a nice thing
Just gonna spend the rest of the summer at the Coliseum and forget about everyone
what is sleep I forget
but now I’m sitting here, thinking, miserable. this is absolutely ridiculous.
wrote several poems about people and things earlier today and just got back from bowling for a few hours and wow today should happen every day
the good thing about being ugly is that you know that people actually like you for your personality
“You are nothing less to me than a bilgistic pile of love meat”
Last week at BJ’s I convinced our waiter that my name is “Fenton” and so I’m gonna see how many people I can get to think that’s the case from now on
Today ruled but I cant really walk straight so sleep goodnight
Hahahahaha we’re watching this movie called Quest for Fire and it’s basically about cavepeople fighting over fire and Wes goes “Dude that language doesn’t even exist, they made it up just for this movie” and holy shit is he a fun drunk.